Vacations have always been a joyous occasion for me, but they have also been one of the most difficult times. Each time I go on a vacation I get incredibly excited for the fun. I get this emotional high unlike any other. When the vacation comes to an end, I hit an emotional drop. I get depressed, hopeless, and anxious. This has been the case for the last several vacations I have gone on and it continues to be an issue today.
As I am writing this, I am one the way home from Disney World. I am using this twenty plus hour drive to reflect on the trip I just embarked on. Before we left for Florida, I was experiencing a lot of tension and anxiety. My life felt very overwhelming. I was working a lot and I had a lot of little things to do here and there for school. I was very ready for a break. That's why I got so excited for this trip.
My time at Disney was one that I will always remember. I experienced more happiness than I have in a long time. I met all of the princesses, rode my favorite rides, and celebrated my upcoming graduation with a fancy dinner. Once I realized that the trip was over last night, I became very sad and depressed. I began balling in the middle of the crowds at Magic Kingdom because I felt like going home meant leaving all of my happiness behind. It felt like going home meant going back to my anxiety. I had to work hard to combat these intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness. I began focusing on all the positive memories I did make and how I could go back in a few years. I am making a conscious effort to take home the happiness with me and focus on making life more enjoyable. Life is a gift and I am going to treat is as such. I am thankful for my amazing vacation, but home is where my heart is.
I will probably have this issue with vacations for a long time. It's something I will have to continue to fight. Depression and OCD go hand in hand, so I will have to battle these feelings. I will win this fight.
As I am writing this, I am one the way home from Disney World. I am using this twenty plus hour drive to reflect on the trip I just embarked on. Before we left for Florida, I was experiencing a lot of tension and anxiety. My life felt very overwhelming. I was working a lot and I had a lot of little things to do here and there for school. I was very ready for a break. That's why I got so excited for this trip.
My time at Disney was one that I will always remember. I experienced more happiness than I have in a long time. I met all of the princesses, rode my favorite rides, and celebrated my upcoming graduation with a fancy dinner. Once I realized that the trip was over last night, I became very sad and depressed. I began balling in the middle of the crowds at Magic Kingdom because I felt like going home meant leaving all of my happiness behind. It felt like going home meant going back to my anxiety. I had to work hard to combat these intense feelings of sadness and hopelessness. I began focusing on all the positive memories I did make and how I could go back in a few years. I am making a conscious effort to take home the happiness with me and focus on making life more enjoyable. Life is a gift and I am going to treat is as such. I am thankful for my amazing vacation, but home is where my heart is.
I will probably have this issue with vacations for a long time. It's something I will have to continue to fight. Depression and OCD go hand in hand, so I will have to battle these feelings. I will win this fight.