These past two weeks have been filled with hope, anger, anxiety, happiness, and sadness. This is great compared to last year when I only felt crippling anxiety and depression. I have been able to take on some incredible challenges and fight some tough battles in these past two weeks. I am so proud of myself for coming out happy and healthy on the other side.
Two Fridays ago, I finally build up enough courage and determination to fight one of my biggest fears head on: singing the national anthem at a varsity basketball game. I used to sing at almost every home game, but about two years ago my anxiety took over that aspect of my life as well. I struggled to breathe right before I was set to sing, but I did it and it was a major victory. My OCD and anxiety can no longer stop me from singing. I will continue to conquer my fears.
Another major thing that has happened in the last two weeks is that I have realized more and more that the general public has little to no knowledge about OCD. I have come across several people that just assume OCD is all about being a "germaphobe" and that it is extremely simple to "get rid of." First of all, OCD is impossible to get rid of. It is a life-long mental disorder that will stay with me for the duration of my life, but it is extremely treatable. You can learn to manage your OCD, although there will be relapses. OCD also shows itself in a number of ways. It looks different in each person that has it, but it has the power to take over a life. People have hurt and even killed themselves because of this disorder. It is nothing to joke about. Try and take the time to read my blogs and do some basic research on OCD before you make assumptions. Spreading awareness about mental health will only strengthen the support for it.
I have been much happier lately because I feel like a strong and independent woman. I have been able to pay for a lot of expenses on my own thanks to my ability to hold a job now. I have been able to find the beauty in myself whereas last year I hated how I looked. I have also been able to have fun. I was blessed to be able to attend my last high school dance before prom last night and I had the time of my life. It was so fun to be able to let loose and not hold so much tension. My life is a blessing and I'm so grateful for how well I'm doing today. The fight will continue, but I'm going to enjoy each amazing moment as it comes. Life is a beautiful thing and I've never been happier.
Two Fridays ago, I finally build up enough courage and determination to fight one of my biggest fears head on: singing the national anthem at a varsity basketball game. I used to sing at almost every home game, but about two years ago my anxiety took over that aspect of my life as well. I struggled to breathe right before I was set to sing, but I did it and it was a major victory. My OCD and anxiety can no longer stop me from singing. I will continue to conquer my fears.
Another major thing that has happened in the last two weeks is that I have realized more and more that the general public has little to no knowledge about OCD. I have come across several people that just assume OCD is all about being a "germaphobe" and that it is extremely simple to "get rid of." First of all, OCD is impossible to get rid of. It is a life-long mental disorder that will stay with me for the duration of my life, but it is extremely treatable. You can learn to manage your OCD, although there will be relapses. OCD also shows itself in a number of ways. It looks different in each person that has it, but it has the power to take over a life. People have hurt and even killed themselves because of this disorder. It is nothing to joke about. Try and take the time to read my blogs and do some basic research on OCD before you make assumptions. Spreading awareness about mental health will only strengthen the support for it.
I have been much happier lately because I feel like a strong and independent woman. I have been able to pay for a lot of expenses on my own thanks to my ability to hold a job now. I have been able to find the beauty in myself whereas last year I hated how I looked. I have also been able to have fun. I was blessed to be able to attend my last high school dance before prom last night and I had the time of my life. It was so fun to be able to let loose and not hold so much tension. My life is a blessing and I'm so grateful for how well I'm doing today. The fight will continue, but I'm going to enjoy each amazing moment as it comes. Life is a beautiful thing and I've never been happier.