I have gone through several of these shifts in the past few weeks. I am incredibly close to finishing my hierarchy of exposures that I was assigned at Rogers. My therapist and I have been working really hard on it and I am so close to finishing all one hundred and some exposures that I can taste it! I am so excited to finally feel that success. I am very proud of how far I have come in my exposure therapy. I am a completely different person than I was at this time last year because of exposure response prevention.
I have also been experiencing little bouts of depression every now and again. Last Monday night I spent a few hours unable to leave my room because the depression felt like it was eating me alive. I felt very alone and hopeless, but it was because of this night that I found hope again. This shift in tone made the fun times more fun and the exciting times more exciting.
My therapist and I have agreed that the main thing I need to work on right now is self-care. This includes going to yoga more often, meditating more, getting more sleep, and finding more relaxation time in general. I have been the busiest I have ever been lately because of school, work, and appointments that I have neglected my need for self-care. I am 100% committed to finding more balance in my life and I am ready to find that harmony.
Finally, I have realized that every gloomy day, I get incredibly depressed, anxious, and tired. I have also found a cure for this phenomenon: exercise. Each gloomy day, I try and do some form of aerobic exercise and it helps tremendously. I have more energy afterward and I feel happier. The tricky thing about this is the balance though. I have struggled with obsessing about exercise in the past, so I need to know when it is okay to take a day off. So far, I have been doing pretty well with the whole concept.
Life is a beautiful thing and even though some days it is really hard to see that, I still know that better days are ahead. I am so excited to see how the end of my senior year goes and what incredible adventures are yet to come. I am never giving up this fight and I am so honored to be where I am today.