Though I have had days when I was depressed, overwhelmed, and have felt hopeless for my future in the past five months since my return from the hospital, I am feeling better than ever. I am currently more than half way done with my first in person and part time semester of college. I am working 30+ hours a week at work and paying my own bills and expenses. I am even beginning to plan my wedding! There are more successes than failures in my life right now and I never thought this could happen for me. During high school, I was preparing myself for the idea that I would never work or go to college. I have worked so hard everyday for this reality and I am so blessed to be where I am. God has given me the strength to keep fighting.
My therapy is going smoothly as well. Therapy is tough and exhausting though don't get me wrong! I feel like taking the world's longest nap after spending an hour discussing exposure ideas, my anxiety over the past week, and coping methods for anxiety attacks. But it is worth it to know that I have an incredible future ahead of me. I also joined a support group for people with anxiety disorders that is run by my therapist. I have only attended once so far because it is an hour away, but I hope to attend once a month. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in this constant battle against anxiety. I am thankful for this new therapist I have been seeing and for her extensive knowledge on anxiety disorders.
I am so grateful to be where I am and there are so many people that helped me get here. If you helped me in this journey, thank you for not giving up on me when I didn't think I could fight any longer. You all know who you are. No matter the role you played, big or small, you are part of the reason I am still fighting today. It will always be a battle, but if I can survive the uphill battle, the downhill will be more enjoyable. Here's to almost two years of fighting and a fulfilling existence! I can't wait to see what the rest of this beautiful life holds for me now that I know I can do whatever I set my mind to.